Showing your boyfriend for the first time ..

This part of my journey was a real struggle. I never thought I would be strong enough to do it . It took a long time to get used to the idea of showing someone my true self. I felt embarrassed, un-sexy, not attractive and most of all terrified of the man I loved not seeing past it,just seeing a bald person.

It was the most vulnerable I have every felt in my entire life. I wanted to share and give my whole self to the person I cared about but was crippled by the fear of rejection.

The fears of what I felt I am sure you can imagine

Would he still love me?

Would he still fancy me ?

Would he still find me beautiful? still want to kiss me?

Could he look at me the same way again?

Would he leave?

Would, he think I look weird.

Would he laugh?

Would he think I look sick?

The whole time hoping and praying he will just hug away any bad thoughts and tell him he loves me no matter what, that I look beautiful with or without hair.

    Leaving yourself completely open and vulnerable to another human bean is the hardest and scariest thing I think anyone can ever do. Everybody has their thing they are scared of showing other people.

To stand their completely naked, I don’t mean with or without clothes, just you bare and nothing to hide behind, giving the person you care about the choice to judge or accept or maybe even in that very moment just accept and love you just the way you are.

All I can say is, people are good. People are loving and kind by nature. If you give love you will get love back,  if you accept, people will accept you and look past your faults and love your differences.

amber rowanComment